over all these years, i have made so many mistakes, said all the wrong things, it's like my brain and my heart and my mouth, they dont connect.
but im glad that i have them ard me to point it out for me everytime. i really hope dat 1 day, i'll learn dat =)
had a really nice gathering over the weekend=)
some of the sixth formers that i have not seen for so so long! =) had a nice time talking to them, and happy to noe dat they are all doing very well and happy with their lives! =)
all the prep work and cleaning up can be quite fun too =)
i loved the talking-till-sleep part too! dunno why this time round i wasnt the 1st 1 to fall asleep, but the last 1! =( i hope we'll get to do this, until we're all with white hair and no teeth =)!
i know there are 1001 things to do during holidays, n i think im currently doing something dat my dad would hate the most: nothing.
but i've done a few things today: - i have a new passport now - i woke up at 8am - i didnt sleep past dinner in the afternoon - im gg to sleep soon.
it's a good start, 2mr im gg to do better than this =) hmmmm. im gg to gym, wash the car, sweep the floor, and FOLD THE CLOTHES. awwwh. i hate folding clothes. =(
hehe. we'll see how 2mr.
:+: Styled by :+: Jac Loo Loo 11:20 PM
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Thursday, May 21, 2009
I always needed time on my own I never thought I'd need you there when I cry And the days feel like years when I'm alone And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away I count the steps that you take Do you see how much I need you right now
When you're gone The pieces of my heart are missing you When you're gone The face I came to know is missing too When you're gone The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok I miss you
I've never felt this way before Everything that I do reminds me of you And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do
~~ ok, cannot emo.
NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM 2 ROCKS! ESP when it's with u beng beng dear =))) *XOXO*
:+: Styled by :+: Jac Loo Loo 8:35 PM
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Monday, May 18, 2009
how others can see things in an angle that im hidden from it.
:+: Styled by :+: Jac Loo Loo 11:35 PM
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Friday, May 15, 2009
it's ok to bald.
yes, it is.
and it's ok to have so much time. coz i like to spam time!
yes, it is.
and it's ok to not to do anything constructive.
yes, it is.
now that i have finished 30 episodes of maiden's vow, finally i can feel The void.
Angels & Demons was a nice show. and i like that cinema =))
this book-to-movie presentation is quite cool, but the pace is quite predictable. Like how Langdon will manage to find the next clue at the very last minute.
=) i wish i can be like him! find my next clue at the perfect timing =))))
:+: Styled by :+: Jac Loo Loo 5:18 PM
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Thursday, May 7, 2009
what am i good at.
im sad. depressed. disappointed.
the moment i entered the exam hall, my mind was as blank as my mind it was.
it felt like all the micro stuff, equations, terminologies, models, were vacuumed from my mind.
The strategy of sleeping late and waking up at 6 to study was clearly not working. And the slices of bread that i forced myself to eat were not doing their job coz i was vr hungry.
The lecturer was dedicated, walking ard to attend to all the last minutes enquiries. But my stomach felt weird. The hunger that turned into nausea.
When i was reading the question, i knew it was over.
I couldnt write a single thing at all. I noe wat was it abt. I noe. But instead of writing, i was banging the table lightly, grabbing my jacket, tears in my eyes.
The only thing that i could do was forcing myself to take deep breaths and try to write. Try to squeeze out as much words as i can.
1 hour had passed. The last 30/50 marks, i gave up. i gave up. coz the nausea was so bad that i thought i was gg to throw up in the exam hall.
The moment we r allowed to leave, i fled.
I was lost. I didn noe wats gg on. I started to hate myself.
he was not available that time. So i juz sat down there, staring into space for 1 and a half hour.
1 thing is for sure after this exam, im not gg to do honours.
but this had made me feel worse.
i dunno how shud i proceed from here. i feel like im still a kid. im not an adult.
after a few hours of slacking and more slacking, i had felt much better.
and i suddenly realised, i had a panic attack in the morning. lol. im not vr sure of wat it was. maybe it was an excuse that my brain wanted me to believe, so that i wont feel so bad abt the poor performance.
it's holiday now and im happy. but at the same time, im sad.
