my poor english level is not good enough to channel my sadness into words.
~~
it's the biggest disappointment in the past few months.
they chose another person over me just because of my nationality.
and this happened after they offered me the position.
how can u give a person so much hope, and then crash it with ur own hands. it's cruel and it's hard to swallow.
i was starving before i checked my mails, after a long long nite of sleep, feeling happy.
but the mail just reversed everything.
i am more than sad now. it's a mixture of anger, GREAT disappointment, and more sadness.
just when i thought everything's gg to be ok, it's not.
i dunno what else can i do anymore.
~~
my poor english level is not good enough to channel my sadness into words.
so the sadness stays.
:+: Styled by :+: Jac Loo Loo 11:42 AM
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Thursday, April 29, 2010
worst dream ever.
i was with a guy. dunno who isit. not bear. a friend.
then there's this villain. wanted to kill me then my friend tried to protect me.
then they were fighting and the villain wanted to throw my friend downstairs.
So another guy entered the scene. a very big but kind looking guy.
three of them noe each other. and my friend started to tell the big guy dat the villain killed his gf.
so the big buy took on the villain and broke his neck. big guy held my hand for a while dunno for what but i noe my hands were covered by blood by now.
police came and we started running in 3 different directions.
i ran to a toilet and quickly washed the blood off my hand and continued running.
holding on to my iphone, i didnt noe how to contact them coz i dunno how to use it. so i went to the comp lab of the library.
someone passed me a note with an ICQ id, asking me to go online and open ICQ.
the comp lab was crowded and there's only 1 computer available.
i saw a few faces. they send signs to me that they know whats gg on and we're all in this tog and we need to help the big guy to escape.
so i sat down. the police entered the room. my face gave me away. the police noticed that and interrogated me.
i told him that i only saw them fighting and i ran away, just to shut him up and hope that he'll leave me alone.
but he continued. i was under immense pressure and i was breaking down.
and i was trying to hide my thoughts and i succeeded somehow.
the police moved on.
Suddenly the big guy gave himself up by standing up and confess. by now he has changed his top, and was wearing a cap.
the police man took him away.
and i woke up in sweat at 5.30am.
and i dun dare to get out of bed coz i could feel that my legs were still shaking.
and the scenes were so bloody.
so i continued sleeping. and the same dream repeated again.
dats y, after so many hours, i still can remember it.
even after the stupid IO exams.
i cannot remember how to solve the simple models and gave up 30 points, but i can remember this dream.
and this is like the 3rd dream with iphone in it.
=((((((((( and all these iphone dreams, they're not the least bit sweet.
awwwwh man.
:+: Styled by :+: Jac Loo Loo 12:02 PM
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2 down and they brought me down too.
it's ok la. i juz need to pass both.
at least they made me realized dat i dun like to study or stay in school.
im sure i will be better off when im out of this shit hole.
PMS = easily irritated by all the smallest things.
it's ok.
i'll get over them.
and i believe our future is gg to be so perfect.
:+: Styled by :+: Jac Loo Loo 11:57 AM
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Wednesday, April 28, 2010
I AM GG TO MISS MUM'S BDAY. AGAIN.
1st paper of the last 5.
the 1st 30 minutes was freezing with the cold air blowing straight to me, my legs especially! luckily the nice lecturer whom i skipped like 70% of her lecturer, turned off the aircon for me! =)
in less than 17 hours time, i'll have another paper. Industrial Organization.
and i have 3 papers on mon n tues.
so dat will translate to another yih weekend.
i hope that when i start working, i will not have to miss any family birthdays again. =)
in 2 weeks' time i'll be in taiwan! really cant wait for the getaway with bear n sis! it's gg to be so fun, and yes, it's gg to be funny!! i always feel extremely happy when im with them! hehe.
life's not about the stupid degree.
life's not about the stupid job. ok, it's job search for me.
and life's definitely not about the stupid exams.
i do not wish to be a rich cow. (bear: ppl usually say work like a dog not a cow.) but i think cow works harder. =P
:+: Styled by :+: Jac Loo Loo 4:13 PM
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Tuesday, April 27, 2010
the balloon and the needle.
questions started to question me inside,
what the hell were you doing when you were in year 1.
i have no answer for that.
and, that is really sad.
especially when the repercussions are long lasting.
i cannot get the discriminating scene out of my mind.
i too want to be a needle one day.
:+: Styled by :+: Jac Loo Loo 8:50 PM
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Monday, April 26, 2010
wed wed wed!
dun really have the mood to study. dunno study for what also.
all i noe is that it's all back to square one. lol.
i'll have to start all over again. wish i like my major then i'll juz study for 1 more year.
haha.
:+: Styled by :+: Jac Loo Loo 10:57 PM
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Friday, April 23, 2010
im driving myself crazy.
i cant seem to rmb what i have done this morning.
a very big sigh.
:+: Styled by :+: Jac Loo Loo 4:24 PM
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Tuesday, April 20, 2010
I WANT A TOOTHLESS!
the 1 hour plus of How to Train Your Dragon totally made my day! coupled with nice little almond and oatmeal cookies and yogurt drink, i had an awesome afternoon! on the 2nd day of the study week! love the random short movie dates!
i wanna squeeze toothless! =)))))
but then again, thru out the movie, i kept thinking that it would be perfect if i dun need to wear the stupid 3D glasses to watch the 3D movie! >O<<<<<
=) i guess i will need to change my lifestyle real soon.
A hurricane is on its way. Out to destroy and create.
im not dat sure if im ready for the change yet, but i guess i'll just have to take it as it comes. i hope i wont be alone. =))))))
:+: Styled by :+: Jac Loo Loo 9:53 PM
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addiction
i need to curb the urge to 'comment' on the online blogshopsssss!
=(((((
:+: Styled by :+: Jac Loo Loo 9:49 PM
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The Email.
so irritating to not noe the results.
sigh~~
had a really eventful saturday! morning rushed like mad for some last minute shit, afternoon rushed to go meet hi5 for lunch, but it was worth it! =) it felt so good to have seen them, talked to them, laughed with them. it just felt right. and when i went home, mum n sisters were waiting for me at the car porch! so nice to noe that there are people waiting for u at home =))
hope mummy's toe will be ok soon!!! woo woo woo woo woo.
and i think i spent hours talking cock with my sis abt the taiwan trip!
=) last 2 weeks of nus and im officially done with it.
but it's a really scary sight, to see that every morning at 9.50am, there are like 1 million ppl waiting outside the study room.
OH OH!!! i watched the shutter island! erm. quite traumatizing if u watched it in the middle of the nite with lights off. but it's just like the male version of The Uninvited or A tale of two sisters.
expected that it's all in his imaginations so towards the end it was pretty draggy.
and thanks to that i had nightmares =((((.
When can i watch How to Train Your Dragonnnnnnnnnnn...............
hehe.
:+: Styled by :+: Jac Loo Loo 10:52 AM
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Friday, April 16, 2010
call me idealistic stupid ignorant and kiddy. i still like this dance! my fav scene frm hsm3.
my heart is wounded.
:+: Styled by :+: Jac Loo Loo 12:17 AM
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Thursday, April 15, 2010
=)))) song for this thursday=))
:+: Styled by :+: Jac Loo Loo 3:11 PM
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Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Movie List
1) YONA YONA PENGUIN 2) HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 3) DATE NIGHT 4) CLASH OF THE TITANS 5) THE BLIND SIDE . . . . . .
and so many more that i have forgotten.
"daddy, what is a cinema?" >O<
:+: Styled by :+: Jac Loo Loo 2:09 PM
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i am amazed by this world all the time.
nothing is permanent. everything's changing all the time.
i need to keep up with the changing pace!!!!!
and i need to curb myself for feeling so emotional for ALL THE changes!
as there so many more to come especially in the near future!!!!
*metal ball formation*!! nothing can affect me now!!!! WAHAHA!
good niteeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzz!
:+: Styled by :+: Jac Loo Loo 1:52 AM
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Monday, April 12, 2010
i thought it's still sunday.
had a sleepy monthsary. haha i have been sleeping for most of the time.
but quite happy dat i manage to sleep the headache away! =)
study room's like market like dat. all the loud whisperings, loud exchange of words. FEEL LIKE SCREAMING: SHUT UP!
COMMUNAL LIVING, PPL!
damn irritating.
of coz the easiest solution is to listen to music but i have been wearing earphones for the whole day and my ears hurt.
awwwh man.
hehe. but i have a fiery ball beside me. so we've gotta chill!
p/s. i really cant wait to watch How To Train Your Dragon!!!!!! and have a nice meal with bear n tommy! =DDDDDD
=)
:+: Styled by :+: Jac Loo Loo 12:25 AM
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Saturday, April 10, 2010
=)
i hope it's not too late to initiate the corrections.
:+: Styled by :+: Jac Loo Loo 2:06 PM
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Wednesday, April 7, 2010
supper break
last two weeks, hang in there, i said.
i noe u can do it. i said.
i'll work hard too. for u for us and our big family =). i said. in my heart.
:+: Styled by :+: Jac Loo Loo 12:58 AM
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Tuesday, April 6, 2010
how come i still dun feel good abt it
instead, i have a really bad feeling abt this. =(
:+: Styled by :+: Jac Loo Loo 6:34 PM
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Monday, April 5, 2010
im so proud of myself
to have burnt the weekend doing nothing,
just lying on the couch with laptop and tv on.
i didnt even have the mood to binge at home haha. coz i feel fat =( and the PMS. sucks being a gal.
and the cramps + running here n there today had nearly killed me.
and after i noe that i left the big pack of formal clothes, hand washed, ironed, folded, packed, at home. i felt even shittier. plus the med that i was supposed to bring for bear's mum.
=(
what happened to my brain. It has been faulty for numerous occasions. constantly give me headache. =(
now i need to trust it once more, for i have a 20% CA which i havent touched at all.
brain oh brain, i need you, pls work with me.
and yes,
I FORGOT ABT TOMMY AS WELL.
=((((((( arggghhhhhh. i wanna dig my brain out n smash it into brain paste. not much difference to me anyway, with a brain or not.
:+: Styled by :+: Jac Loo Loo 12:53 PM
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Friday, April 2, 2010
you're my everything!
:+: Styled by :+: Jac Loo Loo 9:55 PM
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Tommy, we've got work to do =)
Project Forget-me-not.
for the next 2 weeks, im gg to bring tommy ard the sch, and take photos!!! =))))
coz i wont want to forget this part of my life. =(
the project sounds soooo exciting! =DDDDDDDDD
so everyone! pls remind me to take photo whenever u guys see me k!!!!!! =)))))))
